I have a confession to make…I never used to ask for patience. I see the folly now and I think I can hear you laughing at me. I knew my theory was correct, I knew if I asked for patience, the Lord would place me in situations that would test my level of patience and allow me to stretch and grow…but I didn’t want that, so I never use to pray for patience.🤣 That was before He blessed me with children!
Little did I realise at the time though, that if I never asked for patience, I would never have any patience. Yes, its obvious now…So as my precious family grew to 4 children in 8 years I hated to admit it, but I really needed patience…I realised I needed patience because I realised I wasn’t in control of everything anymore (though are we ever, really? – another blog post for that). If I was in control, if I knew what was going on, I didn’t have a need for patience. Schedules and lists and order and structure were my friends, but with a growing family, there would always be something that came up that wasn’t on my list!! Something I hadn’t planned for (another blog post for that too). And I believe now, my resistance to patience actually came down to the fact that I liked to be in control and I liked to know what was happening, when it was happening, how, where, why it was happening and as I reflect, I realise that if I admitted I needed patience, perhaps I was admitting I’m not in control of everything…and that is a hard journey.
So fast forward to today and I have had the most precious privilege of mothering my children and parenting with my Handsome Husband, for nearly `16yrs. You would think that I had the patience gig all sorted…well, confession time again – I don’t!! Though now I regularly ask for patience. That much has changed! Every morning I seek the Lord for His wisdom to disciple my children, and for His patience as I let Him mould them and grow them and draw them into relationship with Jesus. I don’t want to get in the way of His hand and direction upon their lives.
However, I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced this, but just because I pray for patience now doesn’t mean I have great storehouses of it! Just the other day on my morning prayer walk I was repenting before the Lord for my lack of patience with the children again and I sought Him on how to be transformed in this area. Romans 12:2 dropped into my spirit “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” So Lord, what was I not understanding about patience? How did my mind need to be renewed in this area? His answer stopped me in my tracks, I paused and lifted my eyes to see the sun glistening through the clouds. The LOVE passage swirled around my heart and mind. You know the one I’m talking about. 1 Cor. 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind…”
So if love is patient, then what is a lack of patience? Is it a lack of love?
Oh Lord, my heart was aching. Perhaps when I am not acting with patience towards my children or showing them patience, I am not acting in love or showing love to them. So perhaps, patience is actually love in action! The revelation of His Word always brings truth and freedom. And that morning I realised that the foundation of my patience comes from love. A love like God’s love. So my prayer quickly became, Oh Lord, help me to love them like You do!