I didn’t see it coming. It sort of crept up on me…I mean I was present for every moment, so I don’t know why this surprised me. I was at the washing line hanging out my son’s clothes when I suddenly realized I didn’t buy these for him.
When did he get so grown up that he could go and buy his own clothes? How does that even happen?
One minute I am supplying everything he needs, organizing his playdates, making sure he does his homework and then he goes and gets all grown up, finishes school, gets a job, and just starts buying his own clothes! He even organized his own boys trip for this weekend.
Has anyone else ever just stopped and thought when did my baby grow up? I mean really get so big that they don’t need you like they used to. (Side note I am obviously still hanging out his washing on occasion – so I must be somewhat needed 😉)
So, there I was pondering the grand scheme of life while hanging out the washing. Please tell me I am not the only one that does that!
I also began wondering…did I raise him right, have I loved him enough and taught him enough and given him all he’ll need for a life in this crazy world? And then Proverbs 3: 5,6 came to mind – don’t you love it when God does that!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (NLT)
As I recalled that verse and thought of how that truth applied to my life, a fresh revelation flooded my soul. It’s actually God’s job to direct my son’s life, not mine. I need to pray fervently that my son will continue to choose to trust God and seek His will for his life, but ultimately, the whole responsibility of which path he will take and the way he lives his life is not mine anymore.
I know that kind of sounds harsh, but it’s truth and I have to tell myself this over and over because letting go is hard. Can I get an amen? Deep down I know that it’s time and this is a new season. My responsibility to love him unconditionally hasn’t changed – it never will. It just looks different now. I will still model the life of Jesus to him and be a vessel for the Truth of God in his life, though now I have to leave the path directing up to God…
I’d run out of clothes to hang, and I stood there. I knew that not only was this a new season for him, it was new for me too. It involved a whole new level of trusting God. The truth of that verse hit me again – I need to trust God and seek His will for this new season of my life, so that He will show me what this new path of motherhood should look like.
No more leaning on my own understanding, I had to lay down my expectations of how I though my son’s life should go and trust him into the perfect will of God.
Walking in His will – This is holy ground my friends.
Laura Jane Anslow